Monday, October 27, 2014

Pulling & Pondering…

We met up with DW’s side of the family at the lake Sunday night to roast hotdogs and s’mores for our nephew, Warren’s birthday.

The girls and I decided we’d drive the golf cart, which left DW and Tucker following in the truck. I’m awful at remembering to charge it up and I’m also one to stretch limits. Not a good combo. Tonight it left me 20 yards from the lake with six (I think) dead batteries.

Ten years ago, DW would have been ready to choke me. But Sunday night, it really wasn’t a big deal. We left it right where it died and partied with our people.

When the last s’more had been eaten, we hooked a chain to the golf cart and truck and DW pulled me home.

This time of year always leaves me with a pit in my stomach and a lump in my throat. Life is hard and downright awful sometimes and it never fails, when the calendar gets closer and closer to November I feel like my whole outlook and attitude heads south. The cynical me tends to rear her ugly head and any patience and grace I may have for others flies out the window. The bright side is overshadowed and every glass is half empty. Nothing seems good enough and its easy for me to find something wrong with everything and everyone. I’m just a real joy to be around for sure. ;)

As I steered the golf cart home, I had some time to do some reflecting. Honestly, I was in a pretty bad mood the whole night and was even feeling slightly convicted by a comment one of my brother in laws made about our pastor’s sermon that morning on loving everyone no matter what. He was joking when he told me it sounded like I needed it – but in all reality, I DID.

Who knew some dead batteries and a whole bunch of dust could help you get your attitude adjusted and get some perspective back?

As I watched the dust blow by, I had one of those moments where life seems to come full circle and I was reminded just how blessed I am and always have been.

I couldn’t help but smile remembering the last time I’d eaten so much dust and been pulled by a chain. It’s been at least 20 years ago when my brother used to pull me behind his four wheeler. Beau rigged up his old go-cart frame for me to “drive” behind his four wheeler and he’d do everything in his power to kick as much dust and as many rocks as he could up on me. He was mean as a snake to his little sister – but you better believe if anyone else messed with me- it was ON. How blessed to grow up with a brother and to have such fun memories.

Then I laughed a little when I remembered another time we were pulled by a chain. My momma’s blue mini-van broke down at a red light in Gainesville. It was, what Mamie would call “Ter-bidle.” I remember Mom calling my Dad and in no time flat he was there to hook a chain to it and pull it home. How blessed to have always had a Dad who can fix anything and has always been there to save the day. That, too, was well over 20 years ago and Sunday night, my girls (like they so often do) got to see their daddy save their momma’s day.

There’s a stretch of fence out by the lake that always takes me back to the very first time DW brought me out to the farm for a 4-wheeler ride. When I looked across the field and saw it Sunday, it was no different. I’ll never forget holding on to him as we flew down that fence line and knowing in that moment that I’d be hanging on to him for the rest of my life.

Our oldest daughter smiled the whole way home because she got to sit in the back of the truck. Our youngest daughter bounced back and forth across the back seat and our baby boy screamed his head off for most of the snail-paced ride home. Eighteen year old Annie, with her arms wrapped around twenty-two year old Devin’s waist would have never guessed this is how her life would look like at thirty-one. Life has certainly changed- we have changed. What a blessing to be able to return to places that remind us of our beginnings. To remind us of all the good things, as well as all of the bad things we’ve seen together.

As I steered that dead golf cart home, I couldn’t help but smile at the view ahead of me. Life is hard, life is bittersweet, but life is also so very good. I’m going to try hard to keep that as my focus the next few weeks as we walk through the time of year that always gets me down.

I am blessed and I am thankful. Sometimes I just have to remind myself.



Stephanie Heintz said...

You always have been the best at putting words together... and bringing me to tears. I'll forever be grateful you two got together all those years ago and for everything in between. :)

Anonymous said...

such wise words for such a young woman...i love you and everything you are to so many...God is so good all the time...i am reminded of that every time i think of you and Devin...grace, mercy and strength are yours renewed every day (thank you Jesus) is hard... but God is so good...i love you and your way with words...thank you for sharing your heart...